Helping you is Killing me
by Eternal Grey
Summary: Sakura goes on a date with Gaara to help him get the girl of his dreams Ino. Sadly she loves him. Sakura always leaves any 'home' or friends she has when she's sure their gona break her heart. SakuGaa SakuNeji SakuSasu SakuSaso
1. Pain Brings Beginnings

_I turned and left without looking back once at my old life._

I reached out for him but she took his hand instead. He glanced up at her curiously and then began dancing with her. My eyes widened as they began to dance. The two were such a perfect couple. His red hair and her blond, it just seems to match into a vanilla strawberry flavor. But that may just be me being weird again.

I should just go. This extravagant party is Gaara's birthday celebration after all. I should allow him to have fun with his love rather than with his dimwitted friend. I turned to go but he stopped me with a look. He looked at me with such a concerned expression that I paused.

When the song ended he rushed over to me. "Sakura, where are you going?!" He cried sounding upset. I looked at him curiously and then sighed. Of course he wouldn't understand. I turned to go once again making him grab my wrist tightly before jerking me so I was forced to face him.

"I'm going home. You need some alone time to win Ino over right?" I asked in a light happy way to hide my own pain. He stared at me in shock and then shook his head.

"I need my best friend here." He informed me. I blushed at this as my eyes widened. Instantly a waiter came up to me and handed me a glass of wine. He looked like an older version of Gaara and was six inches taller. It was nice in a way when I saw his empathetic expression.

"Alright I'll stay." I said just as the waiter let his hand slide into mine. He then left without looking back once. I stared after him for a moment in surprise and then quickly forgot about him when Ino ran over.

"Did you see that?! He totally likes me!" Ino cheered punching a fist into the air. I smiled at her and tried to remain calm and happy. I need to act like this in order not to hurt my two precious friends. They love each other… I have no right to interfere.

"Yea it looks like he does." I smiled softly in encouragement. She grinned at this and hugged me tightly. My eyes widened in shock but then softened as I hugged her back. She needs me right now. Both Gaara and Ino need me as a witness to their night tonight.

When they ran off to talk the waiter from before walked up to me and stood there with a bored expression. "You love him but he loves her and she loves him back. How unfair is that." He sighed holding my hand. I held onto it tightly and glared at the ground so hard that tears began to fill up in my eyes.

"I hate this!" I growled angrily. The boy turned to look at me curiously and then sighed. I looked up then to see Gaara and Ino heading this way. I swiftly wiped my eyes and smiled at them. "Hey guys!" I grinned welcoming them. The two smiled at each other then turned to me happily.

"Who's this?" Gaara asked looking at the waiter he had hired for the evening. It was obvious he hadn't cared for the man before, at least until the man was holding his best friend's hand.

"I'm Sasori and I'm here to sweep this girl away since her prince found someone else." The man answered seriously. I stared at him in shock and rage as Gaara looked between us oddly. Ino's eyes widened realizing what he meant.

"You loved Gaara?!" She cried in complete and utter shock. I stared at her bitterly and then glared at Sasori. "So it's true…" Ino said softly staring at me with such sympathy that I began to feel pathetic. "Gaara we've been killing her… she loves you." She informed him sadly.

He looked at me in surprise but I was already running out the door and calling a taxi on my phone. Sasori and Gaara could be heard yelling at each other back in the hall but I ignored them. I need to get out of here and start a new life. It looks like I won't find happiness in this one either…

_I turned and left without looking back once at my old life. _


	2. Starting Over And Falling Again

I've been living at this place for sixth months now and it has been nice. I'm good at finding new places. Naruto walked up to me with his same old dopey grin and pulled out his wallet. I rolled my eyes knowing where this is going.

"Thanks to my tips for the evening I may be able to pay half the bill if we go out. So do you want to dine in the reserved hall with me tonight?" He asked with his wide hopeful eyes and innocent smile.

"Not until you can get more tips. You always buy the most expensive thing and I'm left paying for your meal while you pay for mine. Earn a bit more money and we'll be fine." I replied with a sly smile. He sighed then went back to waiting tables.

I smiled at this as Tenten nudged me with her elbow. "A limo's coming in. Take them to the reserved room." She whispered as we waited for the customers to come in. I don't mind being a waitress. It's not so bad at all. The pay sucks though.

I clicked my heels together and waited with a small smile for the two well dressed people to come in. The man had long black hair and light purple eyes while the woman had short black hair and the same color eyes. Neither had pupils.

"Just two for tonight?" I asked with and earned a nod from the man. Instantly the girl walked up to me so she was extremely close.

"Do you know any guys that are cute, dopey, but fun to be around?" She whispered making the guy behind her laugh. I smiled at this. She's describing Naruto.

"I'm sorry but my cousin asks everyone that question. Hinata's betrothed to someone she thinks is boring. The girl will try anything to get out of it." The man smiled. So she's desperate…

"I'll take you both to your table in the reserved section." I smiled in return and brought them into their room. The reserved section has dim lights and elegant black and tan décor. It's rather beautiful but extremely expensive. Once the two sat down I passed them their menus. "I'm Sakura and I will be your server for tonight. What would you like to drink?"

Hinata was the first one to jump up. "A berry smoothie please! Restaurants don't normally have them but you guys do! Neji stop looking at me like that." She squealed. I blinked in surprise then nodded. Neji was looking at her with a look that clearly said 'I'm humiliated by your presence'.

"I'll have a coke thank you very much." Neji said softly making me nod then turn to go. When I got to the drink area Naruto was there looking extremely bored.

"There's no more people in my area." He sighed. I realized then that he took me seriously when I said he needs to get more tips. He never complains about there not being enough work.

"Well in my area there's a girl who's extremely desperate and into guys like you." I smirked making his eyes widen as he ran forward right into me. We both gasped in pain, and clutched our heads. "You idiot!" I hissed angrily and tried to coax my stinging wound.

"Sorry…" He smiled sheepishly. I got the drinks ready and handed them to Naruto. "The girl got the smoothie right?" He asked making me nod. He grinned and hurried into the reserved space as I tried to catch my breath. Tenten looked at me with a smirk making me glare and then rush into the room.

Naruto and Hinata were talking and seemed to be having fun. That's good. I turned to Neji and took out my pen and pad. "Have you decided on what you would like to order?" I asked making the boy look at me with a smug look.

"I'd order you but I'm pretty sure you'd say no." He said making Hinata and Naruto pause. I blushed and blinked a couple times.

"I'm sorry but you can only order what's on the menu." I smirked and then turned to Hinata as she ordered. Neji sighed and ordered as well. Naruto gave me a strange look that ended with a cocky grin. He's been trying to hook me up with himself and others ever since we met. He doesn't like the idea of single women.

I went into the kitchen and collapsed to the ground. I think I might like him!


	3. A New Thought And Love

I looked at Neji and decided I could do this. If it's him and since he loves me, then I can do this just fine. He smiled softly at me from across the table and rose his glass to mine. I let myself relax into my chair and casually graze my glass with his. It was a nice feeling that I don't ever want to end.

"You look beautiful." He whispered and placed his hand on my own. Gaara wasn't like this. He liked a blond that has a thing for gossip and tends to talk too much. That's just what he was into. I could never have been with him.

It could never have worked.

"Thank you." I said elegantly. I never act this way with anyone. It's nice being fancy when I'm just a poor girl who has a lot of knowledge on small towns. I've been to so many and lived so many lives.

"What would you like for desert?" He asked watching me sip my light beer. It made me feel slightly self conscious. I then began to think about the question and laughed with a small smirk.

"Root beer float please." I said with an innocent smile. The guy looked at me blankly then started to laugh lightly. I'd never been with someone who was just so _perfect_. I mean, most people would be like sure whatever that sounds good. But he's just sitting here laughing with his perfect poise and etiquette.

"You have a major thing for beer don't you." He said forcing me to look back on my past. Not really, each town I've lived in I've had a thing for something different. Wow I feel like a frat boy compared to this guy now. Here I am drinking my beer while he's drinking some fancy smancy wine.

"Ah… I guess so." I said softly and then jumped when he placed his hand on mine. We smiled at each other for a moment then kissed. It was unlike any other kiss I've ever had. His lips were soft and curious on mine. No demanding or cruel intents with the lure of his tongue tempting my lips. It was just a soft brush that we then pressed together.

Just lips no tongue. It was my first sweet kiss. No one else cared enough to make theirs sweet or kind like he's doing. Maybe this could be my new life. A world where someone is kind and caring wanting me to just be happy with him, it's a lovely thought but I doubt it could happen.

"Hinata said that your friend is fun to be around. She's going to give it a month before she officially calls off the engagement." Neji informed me making my eyes widen.

"Isn't that a bit rash? She hardly knows him let alone the little quirks that can drive a woman insane." I said curiously making Neji laugh at me before running a hand through my hair.

"You would have told me if he was untrustworthy, at least I'm assuming so. The family already trusts him with his honest nature and hilarious quirks. It's only a matter of time before Hinata will pop the question." Neji said with a light smile.

"So soon? You people get married so fast…" I murmured and began to think about it. I would have to act fast if it turns out I can't handle being here. If I don't then I may be stuck with this new life. I hope not but at the same time if I could spend every day like this with Neji then it could be worth it.

"Yes we do but I'm willing to make this as slow as possible. Whatever you prefer. This relationship is all up to you." He said making my eyes widen as I stared down at the table. Instantly our deserts arrived. I didn't even remember ordering but still…

"You're really leaving something this important up to me?" I asked curiously feeling the bitterness within me stain my tongue. I took several large sips of my desert hoping the taste of pain would go away and leave me alone.

"Why not?" Neji asked me with such an innocent smile that I scowled. Stupid jerk acting like that. I glanced out the window and noticed Sasori staring at me from the parking lot. Instantly he turned around and left leaving me to wonder if I'm doing the right thing staying here and making a new place for myself. Who knows?


	4. Destiny can be overcome

**Updated!!! I'm beginning to think about giving The Feeling Of Loneliness the same plot as this one. It would do better but then again… I gotz more fans for this one. Idk… read the other fic and tell me if you want it on there. I could write that one so much better. Anyhow the chapters are longer and the writing style is better. The couples from this one will be the same in the other fic if you pick that one. **

_**IMPORTANT NOTE **_

**Your pick. If I get 5 people to say yes then I'll tell you all I'm deleting this fic then delete it next month with no more updates. **

**Until then I'll write more NejixSakura**

I walked up to his mansion and took a deep breath. I can do this. I can give him back his coat and then ask to hang out again. No big deal I mean he was nice to me and I deserve to return his thousand dollar jacket he told me I could keep.

I don't want to if that means we won't see each other again. I pouted lightly and knocked on the door. Instantly I heard voices behind me. I hid in a bush beside me and peeked out through the leaves. Gaara and Ino were having a heated argument while walking past.

It confused me as I wondered what they were doing around here. This is states from where they live. I started all over and made sure they didn't know a thing about where I was going. It's too cruel that they've found me. Neji opened the door then and looked at me oddly.

"Why are you in a bush?" He asked me curiously. I motioned for him to be quiet as I waited for my old friends to pass. Once they were at a safe distance I got out from within the bush and smiled innocently at him. "You are so weird… but I like that."

"Destiny is a funny thing, isn't it?" I asked dryly making his eyes widen before he nodded with a soft smile. Neji led me inside the mansion and had me wait in the parlor while he grabbed us some drinks. I waited patiently looking around at the exquisite artwork all over the walls.

Paintings of a girl surrounded with rainbow colors that seemed to swirl around her, this picture covered an entire wall. She looked so sad though with so much beauty around her. That's when I realized that her pink hair looked a bit familiar.

"Draft beer?" Neji asked making me grin and nod gulping down my drink. He swirled his glass of wine in his hand and stared at me. I blinked in return and blushed beginning to feel self conscious of myself. "You are beautiful." He said with no emotion. I didn't reply to his comment and had us talk about something else.

"Do you look into politics with so many politicians in your family?" I asked him curiously. Neji chuckled in return and took my hand holding it up to his face. I blinked in surprise but he just smiled and answered his question.

"At a very young age my father told me not to waste my time with politics and instead chase skirts. Or you can just say, girls. I lived by this realizing soon that our lives are very short. It's good to be happy and live life to the fullest. Destiny forces us to have our fair share of drama and troubles but I believe that someday we can get past destiny… and live the way we want."

I stared at him with no emotion on my face. He's deep. Neji stared at the painting with a musing expression. "I like you." I informed Neji with a dark look. He stared at me for a moment as though in shock. Then he laughed at me and hugged me to him. I didn't say a word but my eyes widened in surprise. I didn't think this would be his reaction.

Telling someone that I like them… that's a major deal for me. Love is a completely different matter since I never say that to begin with. If I do… then it's most likely because it'll never work so I should say it without a second thought, if that makes sense.

"I like you too." Neji whispered making me close my eyes and smile against him. His arms kept me warm as I began to think once again. I like this place, I really do.


	5. Forget the past and love the present

Neji is easy to understand. He doesn't say things he doesn't mean and is predictable in a good way. I like being here in this new town with such a nice guy to stand by me and be with me for a change. I think I may even stay here for once. I walked outside the restaurant taking out the trash. The dumpster was overflowing but that's not what caught my eye.

Someone was hanging out beside it making me quirk an eyebrow but say nothing. When I got closer I realized it was Sasori. He smirked at me and leaned against his red Mercedes. "How do you like the change in scenery?" He asked curiously. I ignored him completely and walked off toward my work but Sasori was able to grab my hand.

"Let go of me. I'm going to be late getting back and will get in trouble." I whispered darkly but it's not like I'm really upset with him or anything. I just don't want to see anyone from any of the other places I've been. I need a fresh start and that means no one from before needs to come by and inform me that this isn't a new life it's just me running away… I already know that.

He let me go slowly and turned around getting into his car. I sighed and hurried back inside knowing this is killing me. Why did he have to show up?

When Neji came by the work I stared at him curiously. _Is this what I want?_ I asked myself as he leaned in to kiss me. It has to be what I want. Otherwise I should never have gone out with him or let it get this far, since I have too many people here who know me all too well.

_I am happy… aren't I?_ His eyes closed slightly as his lips found mine. I let him kiss me and felt the world fade away while I continued to wonder. I have been smiling a lot but is that all part of my disguise or because I'm genuinely happy?

_What about the people from my past?_ At this thought I kissed back deeply ignoring everything else knowing full well he needs this and I need to forget. That means I have to be willing to do whatever it takes to keep the life I have here. I ran my hands through his long hair and smiled into the kiss.

I need to let myself be happy for once in my entire life. If I don't then what was the point of leaving? Ino and Gaara couldn't have been worse than knowing the one you love loves you back and wants to be with you but you can't… just because you're too scared.

That would be so stupid and so I cannot allow myself to go through that. I will be happy no matter what and live the best life possible with as little regrets as I can. Hopefully Sasori will never come back again and maybe I can even stay with Neji for as long as possible.

This time I won't make any stupid mistakes and I'll be happy. It should be easy as long as I keep on my toes and don't upset anyone in the process. I noticed someone looking at us from the window… it made my blood run cold.

His light blue eyes were giving off their famous death glare as he stared at me and Neji. His messy red hair seemed as though it was purposely done when I knew full well it was only like that because he never touches it.

Gaara is staring at me as though… almost as though he wants _me_ rather than Ino. That can't be right though because I left them! I left Gaara behind with his love so that I can be happy! I hugged Neji tightly and closed my eyes. Don't look… he might go away.

Even I knew that thinking such stupid thoughts wouldn't make the problem go away.


	6. I had to tell you

One day I may be able to tell Neji my past. If I don't then Gaara may come up to me one day and talk then I'll be forced to explain everything. I don't want it to be that way. Neji and I are beginning to act like the perfect couple that everyone wants to have. I can't just let this go when I may finally be happy.

I left work and hopped into his car debating on whether or not I should tell him. If I do he may leave thinking I'll leave first anyway. It's not like I leave whenever things get bad or too good… I just leave whenever I need to.

Very few people are able to figure out my movements. Even then they tend to get lost for a year or two until they realize I'm a hundred steps ahead of them. Poor kids but those are the people from my past… the really far back ones… like Kiba, Shino, Kabuto, and more.

I smiled at the Neji and tried to think of a good way to explain that I'm a runner. I just run away when the going gets tough. That's the way I've always been. Somehow Sasori has always been there as well. I finally got to know his name last time around… I wonder when he'll show up here and save me if I need it.

I sighed and thought about other things I could do. That list was very short. I turned to Neji to see him smiling looking peaceful and relaxed. I looked at him for a moment longer then sighed. I guess I should tell him.

"Neji… you know how you always wanted me to tell you about my past?" I asked as he went through wendy's drive through in order to get us milkshakes. I got vanilla and he ordered chocolate. When we got to the window I almost gasped aloud when I saw Sasori.

He smirked at me and handed Neji our drinks before wishing us a good day. I glared at him and looked away beginning to lose my nerve. That's just what Sasori does to me. He makes me remember every time. Because somehow he was always there at the end of it with open arms. I glared out the window and slurped at my drink not really tasting it at all.

"Is something wrong?" Neji asked making me turn on the Mindless Self Indulgence cd in his car then tell him everything. I Started with the fact that I always leave, and then ending with the fact that I don't know if I'll leave this life or not. I don't know why I suddenly told him everything.

He didn't blink once when he found out. I wonder if that's making me feel so disappointed or if it's the fact that I'm not so sure if he even cares. Neji being apathetic to my past could probably be even worse. I sighed to myself when he said nothing and began to get out of the car when we stopped at a red light but he just locked the doors.

"How many people have you dated?" He asked coldly. I turned to him and closed my eyes thinking back. I guess this is only fair. He thought he was going out with a sweet and innocent oddball but it turns out he's going out with a girl who has a tendency to run away from her life and starting over. That's gotta be worse than dating some slut.

"About twelve." I answered honestly and got out then called a cab. It's going to kill my wallet but I need to give him some space. This may be it between us… it's kind of stupid when you think about it but I guess that doesn't matter. Neji is rich and can get any girl he wants whenever he wants her. I should be grateful he looked in my direction instead of pining after him.

Before I could finish calling my favorite cab company Sasori pulled up beside me and rolled down his window. I looked at him oddly for a moment then smiled softly. "I thought you were working." I said playfully.

"I quit." He answered and opened the door. I hopped in and he drove me home. I let him do so knowing full well that he just wants to be there for me. Sasori doesn't care what he has to put up with as long as he gets the most time with the girl. I figured this out about five times around then I forgot constantly until I began to look for him each time I started a new life… then one day he wasn't there.

Five of the thirteen lives I've lived… Sasori wasn't there.

I'm happy this isn't one of them.


	7. Thinking of Leaving

I walked into my work to see a rambunctious looking Naruto waiting for me with a sympathetic smile. "I heard you and Neji got into a fight. Don't worry though, I'm sure it'll be fine." He grinned attempting to cheer me up.

It didn't work.

"Yeah I hope we make up soon but who knows? You've been a great friend Naruto. Thank you." I said knowing he wouldn't hear the hint of a goodbye in my voice. If he had then that would mean that he was much smarter than I take him for.

"Thanks! You have too." He grinned then went back to work. I followed his example and began to work thinking of leaving. If I leave this town not many people would notice or care. Naruto and Hinata are just so happy with themselves. They would never notice me.

Neji is too mad. When you find out that your girlfriend likes to run away and leave everything behind when the going gets tough… well that's not all that bad. The loneliness and pain of knowing that no one will care about you at the end of the drama… that's worse than anything.

"Sakura you have a visitor." Naruto called from the front of the restaurant. I ran over there to see Sasori waiting for me looking a bit bored but laid back. I laughed at that. He looked up than and smirked at me. I love that smirk. It means he understands.

"Hey stranger." I said and gave him a sly smile. I turned to Naruto and grinned. "I'm taking a break. I'll be back later." I informed him, ignoring his look of distrust. He thinks I'm going to cheat on Neji. Although that idea doesn't seem all that bad to me, I'm just going to hang out with an old friend who knows me better than anyone.

"Let's go." Sasori said walking ahead of me out the door. He held it open for me and waited until I was past it for him to wrap an arm around my waist. I smirked at that but said and did nothing. He's the sweetest man I've ever seen but in a cruel way.

"You have that look that says you're getting ready to run again." Sasori whispered in my ear before leading me to his car. I blinked for a moment then nodded slowly. I am going to have to eventually. I don't have much of a choice in the matter anyway. He knows this better than anyone. No one has the courage to stay here with me for long. I don't know why but they don't.

Only Sasori can handle my scars and stay by my side. I probably will wind up with him one day. He's lasted this long chasing after me so I'll probably have him wait a bit longer. I need to know if all my options are gone yet or if he really is the one for me.

"I want to but I'm also not sure if I will just yet. This town is pretty and I have some friends and a nice boyfriend. He may dump me but do I really want to give this all up?" I asked him curiously. He just smirked.

"You do want to give it all up, that's why you're here hanging out with me when you could be trying to find more reasons to stay. Quit lying to yourself and let's find a nice town to live in and start a new life. We could be happy." Sasori informed me. I looked at him for a long time then sighed. It sounds so perfect but I know I can't do it just yet. What if I leave him too? Who else will I have after all that? I'm getting too old for this.

"I'm going to wait here just for a little bit longer. Think you can find me again if I leave?" I asked him with a wicked smile. He just snickered.

"I've been chasing you too long to stop now. I love you and want you. I won't stop as long as I have a chance." He said softly. I looked at him for a moment and nodded. It would be hard to find reasons not to be with him but I guess eventually I'll come up with something. Right now I need to get back to Neji to see if I can salvage that at all or if it's just too broken.

Suddenly Sasori stopped in front of the restaurant. I blinked in surprise then smiled at him and got out. He's just too nice to me. He needs to stop it before he gets hurt. He probably already has been more times than I can count. Poor Sasori.

I watched him drive off with a renewed determination. I have to find Neji.


	8. The End

I was surprised… surprised at how nice he was. Neji sat in front of me with his cold mask on but he didn't tell me to leave. That is good… plus the tea I'm drinking doesn't seem to be poisoned… I guess he doesn't hate me. I don't want to run away anymore but at the same time I'm scared to stay.

"Will you keep me as your girlfriend?" I asked knowing it's most likely going to be no. Neji looked at me with cold eyes while Hinata and Naruto sat plastered to their seats. Those two are engaged now. They had to move fast otherwise she would have to marry the other man but they still seem happy somehow.

"No Sakura, but before you run I want to tell you why. I chose you because you seemed so bright and full of life. Perhaps that was an illusion but even then I want you to know that pain is part of living. No matter where you go it will keep coming, but the good thing that in order to heal pain you must also live." Neji said softly looking at me with such sad eyes.

I looked at him for a moment then looked down. "I guess… I never thought that living would make it go away. Starting over in the same place after a bad break-up or misunderstanding… it just seemed scarier somehow." I whispered then looked up at him with a look of determination. "I won't leave again unless I have a good reason to."

"Your story was pretty interesting though." Hinata said shyly making Naruto nod with a look of awe. From all the conversations I've had with them… I understand their awe. Naruto and Hinata are too scared of the uncertainty to suddenly leave. They would never become runners no matter what happens in their lives. I'm glad for that.

"You've almost been here a year. Isn't the year mark the time you leave?" Naruto asked looking at me worriedly. I smiled softly at him then stood up just as Sasori entered the room from behind me. It is… every place I go I only stay for a year then something happens and I split. This time it's the same only I won't be leaving again.

"I might but it would be for the last time. This is Sasori, the man who has never stopped looking for me. Even now he's still looking." I said softly looking at him. He put an arm in mine and smirked down at me.

"How do you like being a waitress?" He asked letting me know he what he wants. Out of everyone in the world he knows me best… so no matter what I will never lie to him.

"I don't… but I'm sure a painter and a writer will do well together." I said softly looking up at him. We won't hook up yet. Probably just go out to find a nice place to live then act as roommates. One day though… one day we will and it will work out.

"This is the man you've explored the world with right?" Neji asked softly looking a bit sad. I nodded with a slightly flushed face but said nothing more. "Then go… you probably have a few more adventures to have right?" He asked turning away. I noticed a drop of water fall from his face then smiled kindly at him. If he got off his high horse I'd stay with him for as long as I could, but I understand.

"I've dated several people and lived countless lives. Each place I go feels like home until I leave… this time I won't leave that easily." I said slowly thinking of the future with each new breath. Sasori smirked at me and kissed my neck.

"If you make us move again we're becoming nomads." He growled seriously. I looked him for a moment than nodded with a smile. We left the house and walked to the train station. We left our cars, homes, and everything we own except what we had on us.

"It's time to go." I said breathlessly.

"Where would you like to go?" He asked.

"Anywhere with you would be fine." I informed him with a grin. He smiled softly then leaned down and kissed me.

We didn't look back once as we left…

And for the first time…

I'm happy.


End file.
